Mother Is God In the Eyes of a Child
by MilleFeuille
Summary: Gojyo never lets people teach him how to swim. He let someone once, a long time ago, but all she taught him was bitterness. [Drabbleish]


**Fuss: **Always did wonder what keeps a water demon from learning to swim. Dunno if the series ever explains what Gojyo's deal is, but that's the beauty of fanfiction.

**Disclaimer:** Disclaimed

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Deep within the darkness, the bottomless abyss of an abysmal tranquility, that was where he lay, that was where he would gladly lay, if only you would smile for me. Smile once, just once for me, I can't stand to see you cry over me, not for me, not against me, those tears you shed confuse me, burn me, rot me. I never understood those tears, why they stung like acid, why they eroded my faith, but if it pleases you, take what you must, because I know it will go to strengthen your love.

"…I don't wanna go in there Mama."

"Hush now, come on, there's nothing to be afraid of my dear."

"But the water's so dark over there…what if I can't touch the ground anymore?"

"You don't have to worry, mommy will be here, right here."

_Mother is god in the eyes of a child._

You opened your arms to me, martyr, savior, my Mother, my heart. You beckoned to me, your arms outstretched, coaxing me, daring me to step out into the unknown, the bounds beyond my reach, the blindness behind sight. Chaos floats in those waters, and you are my mote of order to which I may hold steady to.

I can't help but be drawn to you, a snake to its charmer, you are my charmer, my Mother, my love, and you hold my strings like no one ever shall. I hate to swim, I cannot swim, it places me at the mercy of elements I have no control over, but you are that control, you provide that control by forcing your stability within the waters of uncertainty.

I think I can do this then, so long as your there.

"That's right…That's my boy…Just one step at a time."

"One step…Just one step Momma?"

"Yes, one step, one step, no more, no less."

I can't see my knees. I can't see my knees! The monster's beginning to swallow me.

"Momma! Momma I'm scared!"

"Don't be, my son, my darling boy, momma's right here, momma won't let you fall. She'll hold you if you come to her."

_Mother is god in the eyes of a child._

One step, two step. "Hold me…hold me forever Momma?"

"Forever darling."

Two step, one step. A waltz, a dance of wills, a dance of mind and force; Defy it. Pushing further, deeper, darker, into discord, into chaos. Reach that island, that island of light, that island of warmth and love, confused love, confused hate and anger. That's all we have left don't we Mother?

I can reach you now, I can touch you now. Brushing, gracing, fingertips to wet warm skin, a tight hold on you, my anchor of strength, my anchor of love. Oh hold me, please hold me, I'll be lost without you! Looking up at you, I'm always looking up at you, my Mother, my goddess, for the only woman in my life perches amongst clouds, just out of my reach. But I've reached you now, haven't I, as you stand in this water, standing in the uncertainty as it rises to your chest, bathing it with your bliss. Are you going to teach me how to swim now? I'd very much like to learn, because I know you'll teach me well. You've taught me so many things already.

"I did it Momma, I made it to you and you're holding me now. Holding me forever?"

"Yes, forever. Forever…"

_Mother is god in the eyes of a child._

"I'll never let you go."

You're holding me so tightly now. Why? Do you fear that you might lose me? Or do you fear that I might lose you? Don't you know that I love you? We can never lose each other if we're bound by love, that's what the storybook says.

"Never, will I ever, let you go."

Drowning now, beneath the waters, inside the chaos, inside the discord. My strength-why?-my order, my rock, why is it holding me within chaos, beneath its waters. It's killing me mother. Mother? Mother! Mother can you hear me?! Your love is killing me, suffocating me, destroying me Mother!

"Shh! Don't struggle now, my darling son, my dearest…dearest son. You'll never learn to hold your breath if you don't dive under water."

I need air. Air! Air! Please Mother, please let me breath! Please stop holding me under, I can't breath! Can't breathe without your love, I'm drowning in your love. Don't you see that? Reaching for you, clawing and fighting at you, for you, for your love. I need your love to breath, but all I'm breathing is water now, breathing the poison of lies and deceit, breathing the hate and spite of the world; breathing your love.

"Stop fighting me! You always were a troublesome child, do you know that? Why can't you be more like your brother!"

It's getting darker now. It's getting colder now. My life is filling up with water, filling up my body, my mind, my soul, its going to kill me if you don't let love in. But you don't let me love you, do you mother? You say you've never loved me. I never quite understood that…but perhaps I'll understand when I'm older, as they always say. Perhaps then, when I am old enough to understand. If you cannot, then maybe I'll show you how much I love you. I'll let you drown me in your love, I'll let you hold me against you, beneath the waters of your love, I'll ignore the stinging in my lungs, the desperate need for oxygen, the desperate need for life, all for you, all for your love.

I will give you my life for your love.

_Mother is god in the eyes of a child._

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End file.
